Excuses
by hazeltwist
Summary: The deadly duo of Goten and Trunks have been caught in a not-so-great situation. Now WHAT are they going to do about it, I wonder? Chapter 3 uploaded!
1. Excuses

A/N: Yo minna! How's it goin'? That's all well and good. Not much to say about this fic. It's short. It's stupid. It's utterly pointless. It's a spoof off of a poem from Shel Silverstein. ^-^ Enjoy! Arigato!  
  
  
  
  
***  
  
  
  
Vegeta blinked as he entered the room.   
  
The dresser had been turned over, stuffing hung from the ceiling fan. There were wood chips covering the floor, and several broken chair legs. The desk had been split in half, while the couch now supported quite a few basketball sized holes. The bed springs were... springing... from the mattress, and bits and pieces of wire were scattered throughout the room, decorating the two figures who stood in the center of the whole mess. Vegeta glared at the boys, simply stating:  
  
"Explain."  
  
Both Goten and Trunks gulped. They looked at each other. Nodded. Gulped again. And began their excuse. They'd planned ahead. Smart boys.  
  
"Well Dad," Trunks began. "You see... the hand of the clock pinched the foot of the bed, so the foot of the bed kicked the seat of the chair, so the seat of the chair sat on the head of the table."  
  
Goten picked it up then. "And then the head of the table bit the leg of the desk, so the leg of the desk bumped the arm of the couch, so the arm of the couch slapped the face of the clock."  
  
"And they pinched and they punched."  
  
"And they banged and they knocked-"   
  
"And they ripped and they flipped-   
  
"And they rolled and they rocked-"   
  
"And the poor dresser drawer got a couple of socks!"  
  
"There was sawdust and springs when we turned on the light after that horrible furniture fight!"   
  
"And the truth is, no lie-- No joke. That's how the furniture all got broke." They finished together, grinning cheesily and hoping they'd been... er... convincing.  
  
Vegeta blinked.  
  
Vegeta stared.  
  
Vegeta blinked some more.  
  
Vegeta walked away.  
  
  
  
***  
  
  
  
What? Don't look at me like that! I had in-school suspension again, you know. Nine hours of nothing gives a person weird ideas, it does! Ah well. I thought it was cute... but I have a weird sense of humor. I don't think this even qualifies as a real fic. O.o Hope ya liked it. If not, then I believe it must be the end of the world and I will now jump off a cliff. No. Seriously. :P See ya soon people! I swear I'll have a REAL fic up soon!   
  
Sayonara Minna-San!  
T-Sama~ 


	2. Falling Up

A/N: AHHHHHHH! I am so SORRY! I haven't uploaded anything in months. I haven't been on writer's block or anything, but I've been working on a few original projects and I've been neglecting my fanfiction. :( Sorry! But I promise, I WILL be updating more often. I DO have a potential job lined up... and I have started sophmore year at school, but even if it's only on weekends, I'll get SOMETHING up. Anyway, thanks for not sporking me yet. Read and enjoy this short, stupid little thing, which is also based on a Shel Silverstein poem. I know it doesn't really have anything to do with making an excuse, but it's a Shel Silverstein poem, so I put it with the other. :)   
  
Joseph smiled to himself as he walked out of his office building. It was 5 'o Clock and finally time to get home after eight hard hours of working. He held his jacket over one shoulder and his briefcase in his hand, walking down the street towards his home. He was just about to step off the sidewalk and cross the boulevard when from the sky came an odd substance that splashed on the ground in front of him. He yelped and stepped backward in disgust at the look and smell of it, looking up at the sky to see where the liquid had come from, figuring someone had thrown it out of a window. He yelped again as he was hit full force by a body that had come tumbling out the air.   
  
Joseph groaned and sat up, blinking to clear the stars from his vision and gasped at the little boy who sat in front of him, moaning and holding his head.   
  
"Oh my God!" The man exclaimed, crawling towards the kid and kneeling by him. "Are you okay? Where did you come from? Did you jump off of a building or something?!" He questioned, shocked.   
  
"Oh, hey mister." The kid said, rubbing his head and running a hand through his lavender hair. "Thanks for breaking my fall. Nah, I didn't jump off a building... it was all an accident, really. See, I was walking and I..." He paused for a moment to look up at the sky before continuing. Joseph raised an eyebrow, looking up as well, before resting his gaze on the kid's face.   
  
"Well," He began again, looking back at the man. "I tripped on my shoelace and I fell up--  
  
Up to the roof tops,  
  
Up over the town,   
  
Up past the tree tops,  
  
Up over the mountains,   
  
Up where the colors   
  
Blend into the sounds.  
  
But it got me so dizzy,  
  
When I looked around,  
  
I got sick to my stomach,  
  
And I threw down."  
  
The boy stood up and patted the dust off his shirt. "Well, thanks again for the help, mister." He said before running off down the street.   
  
Joseph stared at the kid until he turned a corner, and stood up from the ground. He was shocked... first from nearly being hit by some weird liquid, and then being hit by a BOY... "Wait..." Joseph said to himself, whipping around to look at the vile-smelling puddle on the street. "Oh my... eewww!!"  
  
Down the block and around the corner, near the city school...   
  
Trunks laughed as he skipped past the playground, glad to have gotten away from his mother while shopping. He grinned and spun around, stepping on his untied shoelace and flying forward into the sky...  
  
END  
  
So...? Still wanna spork me? Probably, but I swear I'll get around to updating again! And good stuff too! I have a major fic in the works!  
  
Okay, so S'ankyuu to those who reviewed... oh so long ago.. :  
  
Vegesa: SSJ Jedi Knight(*singson* I made ya laaaugh, I made ya laaaugh!), Mizuwari1986(*grins and bows* Marvelous? Why thank ya!), Lady-Indis(Weird but cute? That's what I was aiming for! ^^), Crimson Kasumi(It WAS short, but I'm glad you liked. This was short too, but eh. I might even do another. :D), soyamiso(O.O Wow... I always loved your stuff! ^^ I'm glad you liked the first chapter! *grins* I've made Momma Goose proud. Stop staring, Grimm!), Chrystaline(^^Glad ya liked, Chrys! Hehe, the last lines were popular. Very Vegeta-esque, I suppose. :D), Jade(Glad you liked it! ^^ Foot, hand, face, seat.. hehe), Princess Shinra(Funny? Thank ya! ^^ I actually did do another chapter. Granted, it was five months later, but I still did!), Dazcha Vegeta-Briefs(WAI! Fanfic of the Week? Aww, thank you! I'm so flattered! ^^), Aoi Jade(^^ Thank ya dahlink! Glad it made ya laugh, hehe), Kayfig(Poor Vegeta! ^^ I was nice to him this time. Now we can all say, Poor Joseph!), FrEaKyMe(*cackles* I made more, I made more! Bwahaha! *cough* Uh, anyway, glad you liked it! ^^;), Mira Morgan(*grins* That's the boys for ya, hun. Trunks and Goten WOULD do something like that, wouldn't they? :P And poor Vegeta, just walks away from it all. ^^ Glad ya liked!), Gosen the Saiya-jin(Hehe, the ending really was popular with everyone. ^^ Sounds like a good idea... I think I will check some of your fics out. Thanks for reviewing!), And finally, Delphie(You'd expect Vegeta to believe it? Oh come now, he's not that dense! :P Thanks for reviewing!)  
  
Woo... that's all of ya. Until next time...  
  
Sayonara Minna-San!  
  
T-Sama~ 


	3. Screamin' Millie

A/N: I am so peeved. . The last time I updated this story, a couple days ago, it didn't show up on the updated fanfiction page. Hopefully it will this time. So, 'nother chappie for ya! Yet another Shel Silverstein poem-turned-fic, by yours truly. Read and Enjoy! Arigato!  
  
All was not peaceful at the Vegeta-Briefs residence. Or the surrounding area within a 5-block radius. Half the neighborhood had been boarded up. Windows and doors were shut, air vents were blocked up and dozens of people had their heads stuck under pillows, or had cotton shoved in their ears, trying to ignore the peircing screeches coming from the Capsule Corp. building. The other half of the neighborhood, however, had resorted to blasting music on stereos, raising the volume as high as possible on televisions, and generally trying to make as much noise as possible to drown out the less pleasant piercing screeches coming from the Capsule Corp. building.   
  
Meanwhile, INSIDE the Capsule Corp building...  
  
All the employees had gone. No one was left working in the entire facility, as the noise had become unbearable. The only four people still in the building were the three Vegeta-Briefs themselves... and a guest, of course.   
  
Trunks and Goten stood in the middle of the living room, right smack in the middle of an idea Trunks had concocted. Now the two were competing against each other in the most annoying screaming contest ever; eyes scrunched up, fists balled up at their sides, and mouths open so wide you could see their tonsils vibrating. Bulma had yelled at the 8 and 7-year old half-Saiyans to get them to shut up, but surprisingly couldn't yell loud enough to be heard. Vegeta had tried a more physical approach; knocking them through a wall for instance-- which had only made them scream louder; covering their mouths with his hands, which they had sunk their teeth into and continued wailing; and finally attempting to choke the air out of their lungs but Bulma prevented him from doing so. The chibis continued, determined not to let anything interfere with their contest until a winner was declared.   
  
Now the adults sat at the kitchen table with their hands over their ears. Bulma jammed her shoulder against her ear so she could pick up a pencil in one hand and write on the table, 'Thought of a way to shut them up yet?'  
  
Vegeta read this and picked the pencil up himself, writing underneath, 'Yes, actually. But if it doesn't work we're disowning our son and I get to kill the other one.'  
  
Bulma thought about this and smacked herself across the face before the idea became too tempting. She wrote back, 'Well, then go do it already!!' And he left.  
  
Vegeta winced as he walked into the living room and the volume increased two-fold on his sensitive ears. He stood in front of the boys and, using their howling as motivation, blasted straight into Super Saiyan level 2, effectively gaining their attention and shutting them up long enough for him to speak.   
  
He grabbed both by the collars of their shirts, hauling them up to eye-level and said, "I want to tell you two a story."  
  
The silence continued and he took this as his cue to go on. "I want to tell you about little Screamin' Millie. Now listen...  
  
Millie McDeevit screamed a scream  
  
So loud it made her eyebrows steam.  
  
She screamed so loud her jaw bone broke,  
  
Her tongue caught fire, her nostrils smoked,  
  
Her eyeballs boiled and then popped out,  
  
Her ears went north, her nose went south,  
  
Her teeth flew out, her voice was wrecked,  
  
Her head went sailing off her neck--  
  
Over the hillside, across the stream,   
  
Into the skies it chased the scream.  
  
And that's what happened to Millie McDeevit.  
  
I hope you little brats believe it."  
  
He finished his little story and lowered the now wide-eyed boys to the ground. He waited a moment before stalking out of the room and back into the kitchen. He sighed as he entered and was nearly plowed into the wall by the force of Bulma's hug as she ran into him. She cried happily, laughing, "You got them to be quiet!!"  
  
Meanwhile, back in the living room...  
  
The boys stood rooted to the spot. Their mouths hung open as they gaped at the door Vegeta had gone through. Neither moved or spoke for a long moment, until finally Goten stirred, turning very slowly to Trunks and asked, "Trunks? Do... do you think your dad... made that stuff up?"  
  
Trunks said nothing but continued to stare. He finally looked up at his younger friend. "Well... my dad doesn't usually lie... when it comes to... gory stuff." He shuddered.  
  
"Oh..." Goten said, somewhat disappointed. "I think... I wanna go home now. And study..."  
  
'Yeah... I'm gonna go upstairs... and go to sleep. "  
  
"Okay."  
  
"Yeah... well, bye Goten." Trunks said, walking towards the stairs. Goten moved for the door.   
  
"Bye Millie. Er, Trunks!!"  
  
Both boys gulped and ran, resisting the urge to scream in fright for fear of what might happen if they did...  
  
-Well? You likey? No Likey? Reviewey? Me likey!  
  
S'ankyuu to those who actually saw the fic last time and reviewed:  
  
Chrystaline(^^ Glad you liked it! *grins* I did another chapter, I did. See?? ^_^ And there might be more.... *scary music plays in the background*), and Mira(*grabs Vegeta and smirks as Mira gets hauled away* You may have found out my plan, but I still got my prize! Mwahaha! -Seriously, glad you liked. :D).  
  
That's all.   
  
Sayonara Minna-San!  
  
T-Sama~ 


End file.
